Wherever you are, Be all there.

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I am learning to be in the present.

People today are connected to those across the world the same as those across the street, and at an instant. Social media has made it beautifully easy to communicate with any and everyone, allowing for fruitful relationships and rekindled connections. But it has also made us distant to what is right in front of us. It seems harder than ever to remain present in today’s technology crazed society.

Be honest. How many times have you been with one other person and both of you are head down on the phone? Maybe you were even talking to one another but you were also liking a friend’s post or chatting with someone far away on Skype, checking work emails or searching the web for a fun café where you could go to together. Whatever multitasking you’re doing, you are most definitely not in the present.

Recently I have noticed this taking its toll on my job. I am in sales in the city of Manhattan where most days it seems the present is already in the past and I am always swimming upstream while looking down…at my phone of course 🙂 Multitasking is a skill that was necessary in obtaining this job, but I find it is harder than ever to focus on one single task. To have an actual conversation.

So last week I tested myself. While talking to a client one afternoon, I closed my phone cover, flipped my watch over so I couldn’t see the time and let myself get lost in conversation with him. Maybe there was an email I was missing, perhaps I was going to have to listen to a voicemail when I left, but I was in the moment and able to really connect with this person, asking questions and listening to the answers (REALLY listening).

My tip: Take a deep breath and appreciate the person you are with at that moment or the task you are doing. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.

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Growing up and out of the Fairy Tale

I used to believe in the fairy tale magic of true love. That we all had that one prince charming we were destined to be with. We would, no doubt, eventually find this person based on the circumstances of life and we would know (because of an undeniable feeling) that it was the right match.

Then I grew up, dated a bunch, had my heart broken on more than one occasion and began to reevaluate. There was a time in college when that reevaluation was extremely cynical. I’ve grown up past that and cynicism is not what this is about. Love is beautiful and it surrounds us everyday in many forms. I believe in it and I am glad for those who have found it in a life long husband/wife. But here I am in my mid to late twenties, single and wondering where that spark of a man could possibly be and if I let him pass by already.

Have my friends who are happily in a relationship just worked harder at finding the matches to light the fire while I was waiting for the fireworks display to begin on its own? And what about the sparks for the wrong people? Was that just gas? 😉

Being knee-deep in wedding and engagement season is most likely the reason for such contemplation on my part. You really can begin to feel like the water of opportunity (and potential suitors) is being drained around you with each announcement or invitation and soon you will be left as the dead fish on the dried up sea floor. That coupled (pun-intended) with the fact that I just watched P.S. I Love You, which is arguably one of the most gut wrenching movies about passionate love.

“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen! I’m exhausted!Where is he?”

“Who, the White Knight? That only happens in fairy tales.”